My Dad and Service men and women!!

11/12 Today I am thankful to all those families of the men and women that serve our country. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to have a brother/sister a spouse a mother/father son/daughter serving our country. Yesterday was thanks to all those that have and are serving our country, but those they leave behind deserve our thanks and gratitude too. They have mine! It takes a certain type of person to be able to deal with the trials that come along with having someone in the service. I don't know how well I could handle it personally.

Today 11/11- So I am not so creative today on what I am thankful for. But I will say I am eternally thankful to those men and women who serve our country! I have many family members that have put their lives on the line for our country and I am thankful to them for that. I also thankful that they have returned home to us! Thank you to those that serve!

11/10- I am thankful today for Scott Freeman. He has been a wonderful dad to me and I thank him so much for all that he does. I know he may feel like he is just in the background, but I just want you to know that you aren't! You have been such an influence and major part in my life. Thank you for putting up with me and being a great example. You are a great person and a WONDERFUL dad. I love you!!

I really need to stop being so spurty...

Life has been so hectic so my thankful posts are coming out quite spurty. Just about how everything else turns out I suppose.

11/9- Today has been a challenge honestly... So ironically I am grateful for those challenges. Call me crazy, but without them how do you grow and learn? I can say I have grown so much in the past year and a half. I have learned so much about myself. Felt like I hit my rock bottom and yet I am still standing here. Challenges try your emotions, they make you think, but they also show you what you are made of. They show you how much strength you have. Looking back, I will remember these times and be grateful to the lessons they have taught me.

11/8- Today I am thankful for laughter. Have you ever just sat and listened to people laugh? So many people complaining (done my share of that too). But to hear someone happy and laughing just brightens my day. Especially that of a child or a baby. Their innocence the easiness at which they do it, watching it light up their faces is an absolute blessing. Their laughter and silliness is just amazing. I myself love to laugh and hear others laugh. SO LAUGH OFTEN!!!

11/7- Today I am thankful for my sisters. They have put up with me taking over their rooms and beds. Put them out of a place to sleep for awhile. Living back at home hasn't been an easy adjustment for any of us. But, I appreciate their love and support. Thank you Laura for letting me steal your clothes and as I have recently found out thank you for stealing mine ;). Mostly though, I am thankful because they love me and I love them and you can't get better than that!!

Relaxing, my brother and friends

Ok So I have slacked off the last couple days. Well truthfully more of I forgot to post, didn't have access to a computer so it pretty much slipped my mind. So here goes more of my thankful posts.

Today November 6th- Today I am thankful for awesome friends. I don't get to see all of them to often, but each close friend I have had or have has been a great example in my life. I am thankful to each and every one of you. You help me see my true potential and I love you all for it. Thanks for being my support team in these hardest moments of life!!

November 5th- Today I am thankful for my brother. Shocking right? Yeah well today is his birthday and I am very thankful to have him here to celebrate it. Happy 30th Brandon!! Not to long ago he was in a serious accident that almost killed him. We may not always get a long, I may get irritated with him or him with me. But I do love him and am glad that he is still here with us. I am thankful to him for all those times as a child that he stuck up for me. I didn't realize it then, but heard about it later. Thank you for protecting me, even when I don't always seem to want or appreciate it.

November 4th- Today I am thankful for just being able to do as I choose. Wasn't looking forward to Friday evening, to many unpleasant appointments. It turned out much better than I imagined though. Was put at ease with each one. So the day consisted mostly of just being able to relax and spend time with people I enjoy. Not having to rush around or not having any sort of expectations placed on you. It is so wonderful to just be. No stress no mess ended it with a relaxing evening watching a movie and hanging out.

Work

Today I am thankful for my job/boss. This time one year ago I was looking for a new job. I was at my whits end with the boss I was working for. I had almost walked out on him on several occasions. His big thing was to make you feel like a complete and utter failure. I couldn't tell you how many times I would go home crying. After I got sick and came back to work it was worse than ever. When I finally had it he told me he was quitting and moving to a different company. I was absolutely grateful for this change. It did stress me out to wonder who they would replace him with. He made the last few months with the company horrible. But I will say the minute he left the stress went with him.

I am thankful to my new boss. He is absolutely wonderful to work for. He is patient and understanding. If it were anyone else I would probably be out of a job at the moment. Been sick quite a bit lately and dealing with all the other stresses of life. Between it all I have missed quite a bit of work. Again my new boss has been great and understanding. I still have my job and I am LOVING it. We have become one big family here. Being the only female all the guys are a bit protective which I find funny as hell. They all treat me like I'm the kid sister. So today, I am thankful for my job, my boss, and the men that I work with. They make coming to work that much easier now.

Thankful!

So I have noticed that people are writing down for the entire month of November things to be thankful for. This should be a good exercise for me, so I figured I would give it a shot. In the beginning it wont be to difficult I am sure, but as the month goes on (especially with the holliday's coming up) not gunna be as easy. But what the heck, life isn't easy and I have always enjoyed a good challenge.

Yesterday I would say I would have to be thankful for having heat. With the snow and temperatures I was cranking the heat up and snuggled up inside my coat. I think of those out there that don't have this ability. Their clothes are warn and thin and they have no money to buy new coats or sweaters. Or those out there that don't have a home or car to crank the heat up in and have to try to stay warm in other ways. Reminds me of a book I read, "A Girls Guide to Homlessness." So thankful that I have the ability to be warm and not out on the streets doing whatever I can to keep from freezing. The temperatures are just going to get colder and I pray that these people will find a way to stay warm or have somewhere to go to help.

Today, I am thankful for my uncle. He has taken on the project of finishing a room in the basement for me. I will no longer have to go from room to room for a bed. Or kick one of my sisters out of their bed. It will be nice to finally have my own space again. Been pretty depressing not having anywhere to sleep. So thank you!!!! You are a godsend. I very much appreciate what you are doing for me.

Out of Hiding

So I have come back out of hiding. Can't say for certain how long. But I think life is now settling down a little for me. Wont get into the sordid details of what has happened. Let's just say everything is different. I think it got put into some sort of bag shaken up then thrown down for me to pick up the pieces and put it back together the best I can.

Still deciding whether to keep this blog or delete it and start a new one. Not exactly certain I want to delete because it was a part of me for so long, but the memories.... So before I make that decision I am going to stick with this one and see how well it works out.

Going Crazy..... HELP!!!

I have been cooped up for I don't know how long. I really need to get out. I just don't have anything I can really go do. I have to stay close to home because I have got to be drinking something non stop. The best thing I have found to drink is Skim milk. Yes I like Skim. I think it helps that I was grown up on the stuff so "actual milk" is to creamy. But anyway, with this weather I can't very well take milk out and keep it cold or keep it from growing crazy things. Yet if I don't constantly drink the stuff then my stomach gets quite upset with me. I guess it has something to do with the feeding tube and trying to get all the nutrients that gives.

Can't go out and excercise. I need to loose weight, but with the malnutrition I have just gone through my doctor has told me he does not want me loosing weight. Which is a problem because the weight falls off me when I sleep. I go to bed and wake up 2-3 lbs lighter. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing most the time. Just not good for me now. So excercise is out. The heat drains what little energy I have. So going outside during the day is also out.

So I sit inside on the computer playing games or doing facebook. I have found myself to get quite cranky with facebook when it acts up. Which is most the time. So I find myself also watching movies. I would like to start reading again, but I don't know of many good books. Not to mention I checked some out during my first surgery and forgot about them until the other day. So my fine at the library is probably out of this world.

So I guess I am looking for some kind of suggestions to do that could be fun. Something on the computer other than facebook. Or a book to read or good movie to see. The movies I have are getting a little old.

I should only have a week left of this then I will probably be going back to work. I am looking forward to actually doing something with myself. Yet I am also scared to go back because right now I have access to anything whenever I need it. My blood sugar will drop way low and I find myself needing to eat something. Or my tummy will get mad and I find myself needing to put something in it. When you work you don't get those options. Not to mention I have been sick so long and worry about getting sick again when I am not concentrating on my body and its needs. Lets face it when you work you get sucked in and get so busy that your needs come second. At least that is how it has been in the past. In the past I could get away with it. Now I am not so sure. So yes going back to work scares me pretty badly.

But I digress. Books, movies, activities, anything that I could do, that you find fun. Please tell me. I am in need of a distraction, anything, to do.