Can't wait to be FREE

Last Sunday I was not feeling so well. I had to have my grandpa drive me to the emeregency room. I didn't think that it would be the start of a 9 day stay.

From the beginning:
Most of you know I had surgery April 12th. It was a pretty difficult surgery and I was having a hard time from the start. I ended up staying in the hospital that time longer than usual. I am supposed to be very carefull of what I ate afterwards. Believe me, I was very cautious. It wasn't worth the discomfort that being careless caused. For some reason though I never truly got well afterwards. I was constantly sick and couldn't figure out why. I tried to just get past it and live life the best I could.

Brandon and I had planned to go on a vacation. It wasn't the best timing since the surgery, but we weren't able to move his days off. So we went on our vacation which was totally fun with a few moments of misery. I was so sick some days that we weren't able to do much. I would throw up on an average of 5 times a day. The problem was I wasn't eating or drinking much of anything, because I was always feeling sick. I honestly thought that it could have been morning sickness if it weren't for the fact I just had a pregnancy test with the surgery. Anyway, more on the vacation later.

Half way through our vacation I just stopped eating completly. I would be able to keep some liquids down but not much. When we got home the vomitting increased to about 10 times a day and was getting worse. It was so miserable, it wasn't quick and simple it would choke me and was very violent. Finally my DR. figured it was time to do a scope to see if he could find anything. After the scope they did find an ulcer. The DR gave me medication for it and sent me home. Was supposed to go back in 10 days. The night after the scope I was so miserable and sick I couldn't even keep liquids down. I let it go on for a couple more days when Brandon finally told me I had to call the DR. or he would. I wasn't wanting to burden the DR. with anything it was Memorial Day Weekend. I figured it would just pass. I gave into Brandon though and called the DR Sunday morning and he instructed me to go to the Emergency Room.

While in emergency they ran tests did a CT Scan and gave me nausea medicine. After enough medicine I finally started to feel half way decent. The tests they ran on me concerned my DR enough that he decided to admit me to the floor. My potassium levels way low ( I have gotten a ton of potassium daily and it is still lower than they would like. I know have to take horse pills that have been broken up into fourths.) The DR also wanted to put me on a constant drip to help the ulcer. I was thinking that I could be going home shortly after that but later Sunday night I got sick again as usual and this time none of the medicine they were giving me helped. My poor veins were colapsing due to the potassium pumping through them. It went back and fourth like this for the first half of the week.

My DR has been completly baffled by what is going on. He figured it was coming from the ulcer, but they ran another CT Scan and that showed that the ulcer was getting better and I was still getting sicker. Wed he wanted to try to give me Tordal to see if that would help with the nausea. He also sent me down to get a tube down me since it had been over 2 weeks since I had eaten anything. The tube wasn't very fun and that first night one of the nurses clogged it. I ended up having to go in and get it done again. I finally decided if this one clogs or something happens there is absolutely NO way I would go through getting the tube in again. Anyway the tube feedings instantly made me sick along with being extremly tired of being in the hospital, throwing up... I was about at my witts end. I was miserable and adjittated I wanted to just die. I was so down that that is all I could think of. Just let it end. Being sick like that drains every ounce of fight/energy out of you. I was amazed I had anything left.

My DR still has no clue what is going on. They are trying everything they can. They put me on some antibiotics incase there was an infection somewhere. My temp was normal so they were just shooting in the dark. My mom told him how anxious I had been so he prescribed me Marinol. Between that and the Tordal I got some courage and tried to eat something. At first everything tasted so sweet but eventually I was able to keep it down. The Marinol was a lifesaver. All they told me about it was that it would calm me down, decrease my nausea and make me hungry. I didn't think much about it till the DR said that he prescribed the legal version of Pot. POT seriously... lol I just laughed. But I will tell you it helped. I still have moments of queesieness. I still get scared I will get sick again. I'm not happy about going home with the feeding tube. I have 2 weeks of the tube while at home, hopefully that will keep me well when I leave here.

I should be going home tomorrow the 9th day of being in here. It will be nice to sleep through the night without being woken for vitals or to be poked again by the lab people. I don't have any veins left. It got pretty close to them having to put it in my neck. Small miracles. So here's to hopeing that everything turns out well as soon as I go home.