My Dad and Service men and women!!

11/12 Today I am thankful to all those families of the men and women that serve our country. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to have a brother/sister a spouse a mother/father son/daughter serving our country. Yesterday was thanks to all those that have and are serving our country, but those they leave behind deserve our thanks and gratitude too. They have mine! It takes a certain type of person to be able to deal with the trials that come along with having someone in the service. I don't know how well I could handle it personally.

Today 11/11- So I am not so creative today on what I am thankful for. But I will say I am eternally thankful to those men and women who serve our country! I have many family members that have put their lives on the line for our country and I am thankful to them for that. I also thankful that they have returned home to us! Thank you to those that serve!

11/10- I am thankful today for Scott Freeman. He has been a wonderful dad to me and I thank him so much for all that he does. I know he may feel like he is just in the background, but I just want you to know that you aren't! You have been such an influence and major part in my life. Thank you for putting up with me and being a great example. You are a great person and a WONDERFUL dad. I love you!!

I really need to stop being so spurty...

Life has been so hectic so my thankful posts are coming out quite spurty. Just about how everything else turns out I suppose.

11/9- Today has been a challenge honestly... So ironically I am grateful for those challenges. Call me crazy, but without them how do you grow and learn? I can say I have grown so much in the past year and a half. I have learned so much about myself. Felt like I hit my rock bottom and yet I am still standing here. Challenges try your emotions, they make you think, but they also show you what you are made of. They show you how much strength you have. Looking back, I will remember these times and be grateful to the lessons they have taught me.

11/8- Today I am thankful for laughter. Have you ever just sat and listened to people laugh? So many people complaining (done my share of that too). But to hear someone happy and laughing just brightens my day. Especially that of a child or a baby. Their innocence the easiness at which they do it, watching it light up their faces is an absolute blessing. Their laughter and silliness is just amazing. I myself love to laugh and hear others laugh. SO LAUGH OFTEN!!!

11/7- Today I am thankful for my sisters. They have put up with me taking over their rooms and beds. Put them out of a place to sleep for awhile. Living back at home hasn't been an easy adjustment for any of us. But, I appreciate their love and support. Thank you Laura for letting me steal your clothes and as I have recently found out thank you for stealing mine ;). Mostly though, I am thankful because they love me and I love them and you can't get better than that!!

Relaxing, my brother and friends

Ok So I have slacked off the last couple days. Well truthfully more of I forgot to post, didn't have access to a computer so it pretty much slipped my mind. So here goes more of my thankful posts.

Today November 6th- Today I am thankful for awesome friends. I don't get to see all of them to often, but each close friend I have had or have has been a great example in my life. I am thankful to each and every one of you. You help me see my true potential and I love you all for it. Thanks for being my support team in these hardest moments of life!!

November 5th- Today I am thankful for my brother. Shocking right? Yeah well today is his birthday and I am very thankful to have him here to celebrate it. Happy 30th Brandon!! Not to long ago he was in a serious accident that almost killed him. We may not always get a long, I may get irritated with him or him with me. But I do love him and am glad that he is still here with us. I am thankful to him for all those times as a child that he stuck up for me. I didn't realize it then, but heard about it later. Thank you for protecting me, even when I don't always seem to want or appreciate it.

November 4th- Today I am thankful for just being able to do as I choose. Wasn't looking forward to Friday evening, to many unpleasant appointments. It turned out much better than I imagined though. Was put at ease with each one. So the day consisted mostly of just being able to relax and spend time with people I enjoy. Not having to rush around or not having any sort of expectations placed on you. It is so wonderful to just be. No stress no mess ended it with a relaxing evening watching a movie and hanging out.

Work

Today I am thankful for my job/boss. This time one year ago I was looking for a new job. I was at my whits end with the boss I was working for. I had almost walked out on him on several occasions. His big thing was to make you feel like a complete and utter failure. I couldn't tell you how many times I would go home crying. After I got sick and came back to work it was worse than ever. When I finally had it he told me he was quitting and moving to a different company. I was absolutely grateful for this change. It did stress me out to wonder who they would replace him with. He made the last few months with the company horrible. But I will say the minute he left the stress went with him.

I am thankful to my new boss. He is absolutely wonderful to work for. He is patient and understanding. If it were anyone else I would probably be out of a job at the moment. Been sick quite a bit lately and dealing with all the other stresses of life. Between it all I have missed quite a bit of work. Again my new boss has been great and understanding. I still have my job and I am LOVING it. We have become one big family here. Being the only female all the guys are a bit protective which I find funny as hell. They all treat me like I'm the kid sister. So today, I am thankful for my job, my boss, and the men that I work with. They make coming to work that much easier now.

Thankful!

So I have noticed that people are writing down for the entire month of November things to be thankful for. This should be a good exercise for me, so I figured I would give it a shot. In the beginning it wont be to difficult I am sure, but as the month goes on (especially with the holliday's coming up) not gunna be as easy. But what the heck, life isn't easy and I have always enjoyed a good challenge.

Yesterday I would say I would have to be thankful for having heat. With the snow and temperatures I was cranking the heat up and snuggled up inside my coat. I think of those out there that don't have this ability. Their clothes are warn and thin and they have no money to buy new coats or sweaters. Or those out there that don't have a home or car to crank the heat up in and have to try to stay warm in other ways. Reminds me of a book I read, "A Girls Guide to Homlessness." So thankful that I have the ability to be warm and not out on the streets doing whatever I can to keep from freezing. The temperatures are just going to get colder and I pray that these people will find a way to stay warm or have somewhere to go to help.

Today, I am thankful for my uncle. He has taken on the project of finishing a room in the basement for me. I will no longer have to go from room to room for a bed. Or kick one of my sisters out of their bed. It will be nice to finally have my own space again. Been pretty depressing not having anywhere to sleep. So thank you!!!! You are a godsend. I very much appreciate what you are doing for me.

Out of Hiding

So I have come back out of hiding. Can't say for certain how long. But I think life is now settling down a little for me. Wont get into the sordid details of what has happened. Let's just say everything is different. I think it got put into some sort of bag shaken up then thrown down for me to pick up the pieces and put it back together the best I can.

Still deciding whether to keep this blog or delete it and start a new one. Not exactly certain I want to delete because it was a part of me for so long, but the memories.... So before I make that decision I am going to stick with this one and see how well it works out.

Going Crazy..... HELP!!!

I have been cooped up for I don't know how long. I really need to get out. I just don't have anything I can really go do. I have to stay close to home because I have got to be drinking something non stop. The best thing I have found to drink is Skim milk. Yes I like Skim. I think it helps that I was grown up on the stuff so "actual milk" is to creamy. But anyway, with this weather I can't very well take milk out and keep it cold or keep it from growing crazy things. Yet if I don't constantly drink the stuff then my stomach gets quite upset with me. I guess it has something to do with the feeding tube and trying to get all the nutrients that gives.

Can't go out and excercise. I need to loose weight, but with the malnutrition I have just gone through my doctor has told me he does not want me loosing weight. Which is a problem because the weight falls off me when I sleep. I go to bed and wake up 2-3 lbs lighter. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing most the time. Just not good for me now. So excercise is out. The heat drains what little energy I have. So going outside during the day is also out.

So I sit inside on the computer playing games or doing facebook. I have found myself to get quite cranky with facebook when it acts up. Which is most the time. So I find myself also watching movies. I would like to start reading again, but I don't know of many good books. Not to mention I checked some out during my first surgery and forgot about them until the other day. So my fine at the library is probably out of this world.

So I guess I am looking for some kind of suggestions to do that could be fun. Something on the computer other than facebook. Or a book to read or good movie to see. The movies I have are getting a little old.

I should only have a week left of this then I will probably be going back to work. I am looking forward to actually doing something with myself. Yet I am also scared to go back because right now I have access to anything whenever I need it. My blood sugar will drop way low and I find myself needing to eat something. Or my tummy will get mad and I find myself needing to put something in it. When you work you don't get those options. Not to mention I have been sick so long and worry about getting sick again when I am not concentrating on my body and its needs. Lets face it when you work you get sucked in and get so busy that your needs come second. At least that is how it has been in the past. In the past I could get away with it. Now I am not so sure. So yes going back to work scares me pretty badly.

But I digress. Books, movies, activities, anything that I could do, that you find fun. Please tell me. I am in need of a distraction, anything, to do.

Oh What a Night

I am finally home, well at my moms.

It was quite the challenge to get out of the hospital.

(Warning the blog you are about to read is extremely long. Sorry in advance. )

The night before

10PM-- the nurse came in and checked my blood sugar. It was 293. I was like holy crap when I came in here it was 85 (normal). Why now is it so dang high? They weren't sure exactly, but they believed it had to do with the tube feeds. The nurse said I would be in the hospital until they could get a hold of my doctor. He may decide not to let me go home. I was about ready to cry. Brandon was there and calmed me down a little before he went home to get some sleep.

11:30PM--They gave me some insulin (that is how quick they were) and told me they would check on me a little later. They were worried that my blood sugar would drop to low and I would go into a coma because I had never had insulin before and they were unsure of how I would respond to it.

1AM-- they woke me so I could take the medicine for my ulcer. 11:30 was to soon to give it to
me yet by 1 they were giving it to me late, go figure.

2AM-- woke me to test my blood sugar again. It was 275.

3AM--another shot of insulin. I was unable to go back to bed. I was so sure that they would keep me. I called Brandon talked to him for a few before he had to get ready for work. I was getting to be a very agitated patient. After talking to him I calmed down a little and fell back asleep.

5AM-- lab tech woke me for some more blood tests. Being poked in the foot is a lot worse than the hand by the way. Extremely tender.

5:30-- respiratory therapist came in made me do some breathing treatments. Was falling asleep during the treatment and kept being told to open my eyes.

5:45-- done with treatments. Start falling asleep again, but nurse comes in for another blood test. Blood sugar 251.

6AM-- More insulin and other meds

7AM-- machines start beeping and going crazy. I called for the nurse, noticed the time and swore to myself. Go figure everything goes out at shift change. Aide comes in notices the beeping and says I will send the nurse in as soon as they are done on report.

7:05-- machines beep again. I put them on mute no nurse yet.

7:30-- got tired of the machines beeping at me every 5 minutes so I turned them off myself.

7:35-- a different machine goes off. I look and notice that the food they were giving me through my tube ran out. I turned that machine off too and went back to bed.

8:15-- Night nurse finally comes in and checks my machines. She was upset with me because I had turned them off. I opened my eyes and just looked at her and thought oh well. I told her I hadn't slept all night I am tired and it was shift change so I couldn't get any help. She replaces the IV bag and the tube feed. FINALLY SLEEP!

WRONG

8:45-- Day nurse finally comes in and introduces herself. She checks my blood sugar. Not sure what it was this time. I really didn't care I just wanted to be left alone to sleep. I was so tired. She tells me I need to get up and walk around. I looked at her and laughed. I figured at this point I would not be sleeping any time soon so got onto the computer. Was on there for a little while before I couldn't take it anymore and went to bed

10AM-- couldn't have been asleep for very long and Brandon shows up. Came by during his break to see how I was doing. We both started to fall asleep shortly after that.

10:10-- woken up again for another breathing treatment. Started falling asleep again, this time I don't remember finishing the treatment.

1PM-- Finally more than just a few minutes of sleep before I was woken up again. Another poke to test my blood sugar, some insulin and my doctor shows up. He tells me my levels are still high, but he is confident to send me home. I will need home health care for the diabetes and feeding tube set up before I can leave. By this time I have completely given up on sleep. My mom shows up and I finally get a shower. The nurse asked me what my needs were earlier and I told her SHOWER. Brandon left to go back to work shortly after that.

3PM-- Social worker comes in and says they are trying to get my insurance to send home health out to me. They have to get that going before I can leave or else I will have to stay in the hospital.

3:30-- Still no luck with insurance, starting to think that I was going to have to stay

3:45-- social worker said that insurance would have someone out to the house in an hour and I could go home. Got into a wheelchair and left the hospital. ABOUT TIME!

Finally home

4:50PM-- on my way to my moms. I am so thrilled to be out of the hospital, but we haven't heard from the home health people. It had been over an hour and we hadn't gotten a phone call letting us know they were on their way out. They were supposed to call before they left and they were supposed to be at her home within the hour. My mom calls them and they tell her that they will send someone out first thing in the morning. Not acceptable. She told them I was supposed to be on a constant feed and they needed to get out there right away. If they don't get there tonight I would end up having to go back into the hospital. The lady told her to call back in an hour.

5:50PM-- My mom calls back to the home health people. They told her again that they would have someone out first thing in the morning. This time she got really mad at the lady and told her no they need to get someone out here tonight. I have been off my feedings for to long already. Again they tell her to call back in an hour.

6:05PM-- I call the home health people to check there hours. Get the answering machine. They close at 6. I wasn't very happy. The stupid *****!!!! She didn't want to deal with it so she says to call back knowing full well that they would be closed. We got an on call answering machine and left a message for them to call back.

7PM-- no call. We call and leave another message

8PM-- still no call. We leave another message this time we weren't so nice.

8:30-- we get a call from a different company saying that they just received orders to come out tonight at 7:30. My insurance company got the orders to send someone out at 3:30 It took them 4 hours to contact someone. The home health people said they would be out in an hour.

9:30PM-- haven't seen anyone yet.

10:00PM-- finally the guy shows up. But because he didn't have the orders or the resources he was unable to get everything I needed. And what he was able to get wasn't the right stuff. But it would have to do. Finally get everything hooked up I start the feeds and try to go to bed. I was extremely tired. But because the feeding stuff wasn't right it didn't sit well with my system. I was up that night every 1.5 hours going to the bathroom.

Friday- after surviving the night we were supposed to have a nurse come first thing in the morning with the correct feed for my tube. Someone finally shows up later that evening. But they didn't have the correct formula. We called the home health people and they apologized and they said they would send it out Saturday delivery. We get the formula and there are about 5 boxes. Heavy boxes no less. So because the insurance company and the home health people kept screwing up they had to send by UPS 5 boxes full of canned formula for my feeding tube Saturday AM delivery. Guess who gets to pay for that? I know the insurance wont be covering all of it. Can't wait for that bill. Not very happy about it.

In the week that I have been home the feeding tube has clogged 4 times. The last time it clogged was about 6 AM Wed morning. My mom and I tried for 2 hours to unclog it. Some stuff came out, but not much. Nothing was working. I was extremely frustrated. I had just flushed the thing at midnight. We even flushed it with coke because that helps with clogs and I was worried that it was getting harder and harder to flush. So we flushed with coke and several times with water. I had been hooked up to it ever since. Yet it still clogged. We called the doctor because we didn't know what else to do. Waited for him to call back and fell asleep. Woke up a little later and called the doctor again. Left another message. Still no call back. Tried to unclog again for an hour and nothing helped. Took the tape off my face and pulled the damn thing out. That wasn't a pleasant feeling. Inspected the tube and the last 5 inches of tube was completely clogged. There was no chance of us ever getting it unclogged. So now I am tube free and it is a curse and a blessing at the same time. I am not irritated by the tube yet I am not feeling as well as I was when I was on it. Now I am not getting the nutrients I need. Got to find some way to correct that because I don't want to go back in to the hospital.

There are many more hospital stories that I have, but this has been long enough. Maybe I will get around to posting them later.

Still here

It has been 10 nights going on 11 days and I still have not been able to go home.

The DR was supposed to release me Monday morning sometime. He wrote my release papers

where they said patient will be going home with (medical word for feeding tube.) But he forgot to write the orders for the feeding tube. So they could not send me home. Which turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Monday was a good day. I was not sick at all and I honestly thought that I was getting better. I was nervous about going home and possibly getting sick again. Anyway, Monday night was not as nice. I started to get sick again and was in extreme pain. This was new to me as I hadn't been in pain before. I was just extremely sick. So the pain took me by complete surprise. When I explained it to my nurse she was surprised too. I tried to walk around to see if it was just gas, but that didn't seem to help anything.

Finally about 5 AM Tuesday I fell asleep for a little bit. The DR ordered an ultrasound to see what was causing the pain. The tech came up to see me which was nice. Although I wasn't overly thrilled at being woken up at 7 AM. When the tech left I was able to fall asleep again. It wasn't as peacefull. I would wake up on and off. I remember my mom arriving and sitting here for awhile. I also remember her saying she was going to get some lunch and be back shortly. The next time I woke up was when my nurse came in, probably around 1 PM, he told me he had some consent paperwork to sign before surgery. I was instantly awake and like wait what!!!!!!..... My brain was so shocked and I remember my mom saying she would be back shortly after all she had just gone to get lunch. I started crying, called my mom and I told her they wanted to take me back and do surgery within the next 15 mins. She told me to make them wait to take me down.

I called Brandon and told him I was going in for surgery, but when I started to look at the consent forms it was for a different patient. I was like well maybe they are mistaken then and its not me they want to do surgery on. Right as I finished that sentence the surgical nurse came in to take me down to pre-op. I told her she had to wait for my mom. Here I am 27, tears in my eyes, telling the nurse I want my mommy. I was so thrown by this surgery thing. I told her that my floor nurse gave me the wrong paperwork. So they had to redo the consent forms. Also my floor nurse told me they were just going to go in and look around at my gallbladder to see if that was the cause of my troubles. The surgical nurse kept telling me they were going in to remove my gallbladder. I was so confused and upset that when my mom showed up they let her go down to pre-op with me.

The surgical nurse also told my floor nurse to start an IV on me. My floor nurse wasn't able to do it so they called some other person in. He went for the veins in my arm (where the elbow creases) This vein imparticular had been poked 5 times prior and blown out 5 time prior. It looks like someone put it through the meat grinder. I tell this guy that he isn't going to be able to get anything, but I don't know any better and he tried anyway. Of course he had to do a little fishing in the vein to try and get anything out of it. Hurt like a son of a gun. He then tries to retract blood from it, but low and behold there was no blood coming from it. He then tried to flush it and it burned like a mother too. I was just like you have got to be kidding when he left it in taped it and said it was good to go. First thing I did when I saw the anesthesiologist was tell him my IV was very ify and he may want to redo it. He then tried to flush it and got a nice big bubble of water just above the vein. Again the dang floor nurse blew out the vein. The anesthesiologist was able to find a different one. He told me that if I hadn't let him know he would have noticed half way through drugging me that it wasn't working properly and could have caused major issues with me not being out and feeling the surgery. I wasn't very happy with the stupid floor nurses after that.

This is my poor arm right before they took the last IV out of it

Anyway, the DR went in found that my gallbladder was in very bad shape and needed to be removed. After 2 hours in surgery some time in recovery I was back in my room getting pain killers and feeling pretty good for the first time in awhile. I thought it kind of ironic that I was happier after surgery than for weeks prior. The DR is hoping that this takes care of the nausea and pain and I can eventually start eating regularly. Hopefully this is the end of the sickness and the beginning of my recovery. The DR is supposedly sending me home tomorrow morning sometime. I am ready to get out of here. Also I believe this means feeding tube for 1 more week not 2..... Here's to hoping. Oh yeah the lab techs now have to get blood out of my feet. There are officially no more veins in my hands and arms that will give them enough blood for their tests. I look like a druggie. I am just relieved that this mess seems like it is finally, finally, finally coming to an end and the sun is starting to come shine.

Me in my little gown with my feeding tube.. Looking lovely as ever ;)

Can't wait to be FREE

Last Sunday I was not feeling so well. I had to have my grandpa drive me to the emeregency room. I didn't think that it would be the start of a 9 day stay.

From the beginning:
Most of you know I had surgery April 12th. It was a pretty difficult surgery and I was having a hard time from the start. I ended up staying in the hospital that time longer than usual. I am supposed to be very carefull of what I ate afterwards. Believe me, I was very cautious. It wasn't worth the discomfort that being careless caused. For some reason though I never truly got well afterwards. I was constantly sick and couldn't figure out why. I tried to just get past it and live life the best I could.

Brandon and I had planned to go on a vacation. It wasn't the best timing since the surgery, but we weren't able to move his days off. So we went on our vacation which was totally fun with a few moments of misery. I was so sick some days that we weren't able to do much. I would throw up on an average of 5 times a day. The problem was I wasn't eating or drinking much of anything, because I was always feeling sick. I honestly thought that it could have been morning sickness if it weren't for the fact I just had a pregnancy test with the surgery. Anyway, more on the vacation later.

Half way through our vacation I just stopped eating completly. I would be able to keep some liquids down but not much. When we got home the vomitting increased to about 10 times a day and was getting worse. It was so miserable, it wasn't quick and simple it would choke me and was very violent. Finally my DR. figured it was time to do a scope to see if he could find anything. After the scope they did find an ulcer. The DR gave me medication for it and sent me home. Was supposed to go back in 10 days. The night after the scope I was so miserable and sick I couldn't even keep liquids down. I let it go on for a couple more days when Brandon finally told me I had to call the DR. or he would. I wasn't wanting to burden the DR. with anything it was Memorial Day Weekend. I figured it would just pass. I gave into Brandon though and called the DR Sunday morning and he instructed me to go to the Emergency Room.

While in emergency they ran tests did a CT Scan and gave me nausea medicine. After enough medicine I finally started to feel half way decent. The tests they ran on me concerned my DR enough that he decided to admit me to the floor. My potassium levels way low ( I have gotten a ton of potassium daily and it is still lower than they would like. I know have to take horse pills that have been broken up into fourths.) The DR also wanted to put me on a constant drip to help the ulcer. I was thinking that I could be going home shortly after that but later Sunday night I got sick again as usual and this time none of the medicine they were giving me helped. My poor veins were colapsing due to the potassium pumping through them. It went back and fourth like this for the first half of the week.

My DR has been completly baffled by what is going on. He figured it was coming from the ulcer, but they ran another CT Scan and that showed that the ulcer was getting better and I was still getting sicker. Wed he wanted to try to give me Tordal to see if that would help with the nausea. He also sent me down to get a tube down me since it had been over 2 weeks since I had eaten anything. The tube wasn't very fun and that first night one of the nurses clogged it. I ended up having to go in and get it done again. I finally decided if this one clogs or something happens there is absolutely NO way I would go through getting the tube in again. Anyway the tube feedings instantly made me sick along with being extremly tired of being in the hospital, throwing up... I was about at my witts end. I was miserable and adjittated I wanted to just die. I was so down that that is all I could think of. Just let it end. Being sick like that drains every ounce of fight/energy out of you. I was amazed I had anything left.

My DR still has no clue what is going on. They are trying everything they can. They put me on some antibiotics incase there was an infection somewhere. My temp was normal so they were just shooting in the dark. My mom told him how anxious I had been so he prescribed me Marinol. Between that and the Tordal I got some courage and tried to eat something. At first everything tasted so sweet but eventually I was able to keep it down. The Marinol was a lifesaver. All they told me about it was that it would calm me down, decrease my nausea and make me hungry. I didn't think much about it till the DR said that he prescribed the legal version of Pot. POT seriously... lol I just laughed. But I will tell you it helped. I still have moments of queesieness. I still get scared I will get sick again. I'm not happy about going home with the feeding tube. I have 2 weeks of the tube while at home, hopefully that will keep me well when I leave here.

I should be going home tomorrow the 9th day of being in here. It will be nice to sleep through the night without being woken for vitals or to be poked again by the lab people. I don't have any veins left. It got pretty close to them having to put it in my neck. Small miracles. So here's to hopeing that everything turns out well as soon as I go home.

MOAB

So last week on our date we chose to go to Moab.

Brandon and I have never been to Moab so we figured it would be as good a place as any to see. We drove past Canyon Lands and Arches at first not knowing exactly where we should go to see the arches or rocks that they are so famous for. I guess we are both a little dense that Arches National Park didn't ring some sort of bell for us. So we drove into Moab and out of Moab when I decided it was time for a ..... break. We turned around and went to a gas station. I asked the clerk where we could see the arches at. She in turn asked me which way we came into town and of course me being so direction oriented I pointed and said that way. She gave me a funny look and said "you past it, its the sign that Says Arches and you will see many people turning on and off the road." That is when the light finally dinged for me. I went back to the car and told Brandon its back that way. You know where we saw the sign and all those people coming and going. Where those cars were stopped and people were taking pictures. So we aren't the brightest bunch but we finally got there. The nice lady at the gas station also said we could go to Canyon Lands we could enter at 2 different directions before you enter town. My mind logically thinking said to Brandon. "We can make a quick trip through Arches head up through the one side of Canyon Lands and come out the other." (What is wrong with that) Obviously another misconception on my part. Had we ever been there before I would have known this. Brandon being the curious one and probably the only male I know that will ask for directions or information before doing something followed tradition and asked the kind man at the guard shack at Arches, "If we could go in through on one side to Canyon Lands can we get out the other?" NOPE not happening. Well in the guys words, "if you can figure out how to get your car across a big cliff and wide river, yeah." Since the Altima doesn't have wings or oars that wasn't happening.

We start heading up through Arches not realizing how long it would take us. So we stop at every little spot get out and look around. Take a picture read the information get back in the car and do it all over again. After a few time of this we realize wow we have barley started and it has already taken almost an hour maybe we shouldn't stop at everything. We decided to drive by "balancing rock" without stopping and then we get to the windows. Of course we are curious and have to stop and take a look. We then decide to take the mile walk up and get a better view.

Here we are in the middle of the hole from the first picture.

The size of these are magnificent. When we were on the road viewing them the best we could we didn't imagine them to be this big. It wasn't until we walked up to them and saw them up close that we realized the true size.

By the time we actually got half way threw Arches we were both tired and didn't want to do much more walking. Which is unfortunate because this is the time we came to the spot to see the "Delicate Arch" Had we known we probably would have saved some energy and walked up to it. As it is I did get this picture that didn't turn out to bad.

We didn't take all the hikes that we would have liked to and there is definitely more to see. So we will just go back. We also didn't get to view anything from Canyon Lands so we intend to do that to. Next time we head down to this part of Utah we would like to be able to take more time and see the rest of Moab along with going down to the 4 corners and checking that out.

We decided to have dinner at the Moab Brewery which isn't to bad a place to eat. A little expensive but it was what the locals recommended. The entire trip Brandon was curious as usual about where they go and do the rock climbing in the Jeeps and stuff. At dinner we saw this half Jeep advertising tours and it showed a video of where they go to climb. It was freaking nuts. I would never in a million years do it, but Brandon looked like a kid in the candy store eager to hop in and get his fix. I swear if it wasn't so late and we had more time he probably would have signed up and done a tour right then. Thank heavens it was dark out.

There is definitely so much to see we are excited to go back. Although we plan to check out some more cities first. Not this week, but maybe next week we will have a new city to tell you about.

WHAT A BLAST!!

So we had our date and it was absolutely wonderful! We had so much fun. For me it was great to finally get one on Brandon. I have tried many times to surprise him with different things. With the way his mind works though he always figures it out. This time... he didn't have that luxury.

Like I said I got the idea's from this website. They shared ideas on what they have done and I took a few and added them together. We have been short on money for awhile so I wasn't planning to spend a ton, but then I decided to splurge.

Here's how it went......

Tuesday:

I decided to finally do something about my situation and date my husband. I told him to keep Wednesday and Thursday open. He already has plans. He asked me what they were and I wouldn't share any other information with him. I asked my boss for Thursday off and he actually agreed. Imagine my shock. I got a compilation of CD's ready for him put a bunch of songs on the ipod and got my notes ready. I left a note on his pillow that pretty much told him to be ready by 3 on Wednesday for his next clue. "Oh yes and make sure to pack light because you might not make it back tonight"

Wednesday:

I recruited my sister to drop off his next clue along with a blue bunny (he likes those rabbits) around 3 PM. The note read
"You are about two be love hijacked"
(thank you dating divas)

In the mean time I was getting a hotel room ready with rose petals and candles. I had Jim Brickman piano music playing in the background softly for romance. I called in an order for food then went to go pick him up. When I got to the condo somewhere around 5, I had a friend (whom has a number he doesn't know) and had her send him a text telling him his ride was here. He then came down the stairs and was peaking out to see what was going on. He did a double take when he saw me sitting in the car.
When he got into the car I asked him for his phone because they were off limits for the next two days. As he was handing it to me I grabbed some handcuffs that I had gotten and handcuffed him to me.

His reaction was priceless. He got beat red and was like what are you doing? I just laughed it was so funny. He was like we aren't going in anywhere are we. Well I didn't torture him that badly. As getting out of the car handcuffed would have been a chore but I left him in the handcuffs for awhile and told him he had to earn them off.
I then told him to start driving and I would let him know where we were going. He got onto the freeway heading South. Of course his overactive brain was thinking Vegas or something. I had him stop off at the store then get back on the freeway this time North. His look was priceless he was totally confused. I then had him go East to pick up our dinner then west to another store (this time to pick up something I had forgotten to get) At this point it was about 7 so then I had him drive to the hotel downtown.
As we were eating dinner I told him how he could earn his freedom. I had these tasks and clues that I had placed in different places and he needed to find them then preform the task before moving on. (thank you dating divas)

Doing the tasks was probably one of the best things of the night. There were things like
"share your favorite memory about each other."
"what is your favorite thing about the other"
"Take your girl in your arms and dance a full song"

These were some of my favorites. It had been so long since we thought about why it was we were in love. It had been since our wedding since we had danced together. We spent most of the night talking about moments when we were dating. Many times that night I was so overwhelmed with the love in the room I cried. It was such a wonderful feeling.

Thursday:
I told Brandon that he had to be up and ready to go by 8 AM. We ate breakfast at the buffet then went back up to our room. I gave him his last note and went to go check out.
In his last note it told him I would be waiting in the car. When he got there I handed him the CD collection I had gotten together along with the Ipod and told him his choice of music. I then got out a map and told him to pick a place anywhere we hadn't been and we will go (within the state). We both had never have been to Moab so that is where we headed. I put in Garth Brooks at his request then he turned it down to where it was only background noise and we talked the entire way there and back. We talked about everything and anything. We talked like we had the night before. We laughed till our stomachs hurt held hands till they fell asleep. It was so much fun. We went to Arches. That is a whole nother blog for a different time.

All in all I would say that the date was successful. We had a blast and hated to see it end. We have decided though that the finding and driving somewhere new would be something that we would do more often. We dated the trip to Moab and plan to take another trip sometime soon.

(Thank you dating divas for your ideas. I am so glad that I ran across your blog)

Dating

Ok

So a friend of mine was mentioning this blog that her friend is a part of. I decided to check it out and it has some very creative ideas. It talks about how these women had let life get in the way of their marriage. I am all to familiar with that major error. But it goes on about how they are now going to write down new dating ideas. I figure I am going to borrow some ideas and see how things go with Brandon and I. It will be a bit difficult because we don't have the same days off and maybe a few other reasons ;) I am excited though to try it out. Maybe I can get some time off work this week and see how it goes. There is one idea I read that I am dying to try out. It is definitely down Brandon's alley. Something I know he will totally enjoy. So here's to hoping that I can pull this off this week.

Broken Car & Application Tips

WOW! What a couple of crazy months. I guess for those of you that know what is going on, things seem to be going better. However, I don’t want to count my chickens before they have hatched. That has gotten me into plenty of trouble in the past. So I will continue to go with the flow and take what comes at me. Through everything I have definitely learned what I am capable of. I have actually found in me someone I can be happy with. Lessons are being learned all over the place and I am forever grateful for that.

However this morning I was about ready to say forget it crawl back into bed and not come out till Friday. And I would have if I had a way to get back home, but my car broke down this morning on my way to work. This is the second time the stupid thing has over heated. The first time was on Brandon and he got a miss out at work and this time with me, which caused me to be over an hour late for work. Stupid car! I was lucky though, I was able to coast it off the freeway and into a parking lot. Brandon got stuck on the freeway till help arrived. When I finally got to work I had to get payroll in so that all the employees could get paid. I really don’t want to be the reason they don’t get their checks. That would be worse than a broken down car. Anyway… I was trying to get payroll in before the deadline and the phone would not quit ringing. Lucky for me they decided to run an add in the paper. One position open so far close to 100 phone calls (no joke) and about 6 people have come in to fill out an application. In the mean time I am still trying to make that deadline for payroll. I finally decided I will not answer the phone until I am done. I think I am just going to give up on the phones all together for the rest of the day. I haven’t had the guts yet to check the voicemail. That will be fun I am sure.

FYI --for those out there searching for jobs. Leaving a voicemail does not guarantee a call back. In fact when there are many people applying for one position showing up and filling out the application is your best bet. I am more interested in those that show up to fill out the app than those that fax in a resume or leave messages. Showing up shows me you want the job. Sending off faxes or leaving messages, on days like today… You won’t get a call back. Plenty of people will personally hand in an app and they get priority.

When 10 people hand me an application for one available position I can expect maybe 5 of those can be held and moved through to the next process. Out of those 5 I can find at least 1 person for the job. So if I can do that without having to figure out a time to return phone calls I will. Also don’t try to do a phone interview. When phones are ringing off the hook and you have close to 100 phone calls no one is going to want to spend the time detailing the information out for you. Take an hour come in ask your questions during the interview that is what they are for.

Sorry about that side note. Those are some of my pet peeves when hiring. I think my boss did this on purpose, put the add in the paper then went on vacation…. Hmm nice game plan. Oh well, at least I don’t really have much time to dwell on my broken car. I am also not helping my situation by writing this blog. But you know what.. OH WELL I needed a break.

Guess it’s back to work for me.

2009 Review

So I’m copying this off my cousins Blog. This should be interesting. Let’s see what I can remember.



Funnest Event

• Going camping - with the 5th wheel and 4-wheelers
  
• Colorado—all those fun places we went and new places for dinner we tried and didn’t like so much.

Biggest Purchase

• That would have to have been the TV
  
• another doggie

Favorite Movie(s)

• The Proposal—That was absolutely hilarious to Brandon and I
  
• Taken—Awesome this would be all time favorite so far
  
• Eagle Eye—Kind of cheesy but I liked it
  
• 17 Again—Zac Efron is not bad looking

Least Favorite Movie(s)

• Ghost of Girlfriends Past—I really like Matthew McConaughey but kind of tired of all the remakes on the Christmas Carol
  
• Up 3D—We had heard that it would be cute and good, but I think everyone fell asleep, even Shaylee
  

I know there has got to be more than this, but for the life of me I am drawing a blank. Memory failure already starting.

Favorite Celebrity

• Sandra Bullock
  
• Denzel Washington

I enjoy these two because their movies are classy and you don’t see them involved in all the negative press.

Least Favorite Celebrity

• Brittney Spears – Don’t think she really has any talent. Not to mention it seems the only way she can stay in the public eye is through negative press.
  
• Kobe Bryant—I am tired of people like him and Carmelo Anthony being idols to children. (not limited to just these two) I have not seen anything from these men that would be worth the hero worship they get. I believe that celebrities should hold themselves to higher standards than they do. However, it seems to me that celebrities don’t think that laws and morals pertain to them. I think an MVP should be someone on and off the court.
  

Guilty Pleasure

Reading cheesy romance novels.. I know I know terrible isn’t it.

Saddest Moment


Not going there.


Sickest Moment

Ending up in the emergency room a few times for Kidney stones and back problems

Favorite Song(s)

There are a ton of songs out there that I liked. Most songs get overplayed though.

• Body Language- Jesse McCartney
  
• Replay- Iyaz
  
• Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson
  
• Box of Rocks- The Song Trust (if you haven’t heard it check out the video Cutest ever!)
  

Songs I Hated

• What’s my name—seriously that song really needs to like be banned or something
  
• Taylor Swift- I may be shot for this, but give me a break. How hard is it to rerelease the same album? Did you not have any new stuff? The old stuff is way overplayed and wearing on my nerves. I started off liking most of it, but now….. nope not allowed on my radio. Even though Brandon tries to sneak it in every once in awhile.
  
• Blackeyed Peas- what were these songs about? Didn't make sense! Fergies outfits... Come on!

Biggest Surprises


I wouldn’t really say there were too many of those. At least none I remember. Which is a good thing! I have had more than my fair share of surprises to last me a life time. Unless it is a happy one, then I'm all for it.

Achievements

• Learned more about myself
  
• Got involved with a debt relief program

Things I've Learned

• Everybody has their crap and that is okay.
  
• If everyone put their pile of junk into a pile we would all grab our own pile of junk.
  
• Forgiveness is the key to letting go. Why hold on to things? In doing so you are giving up control of yourself.
  
• It is none of my business what you think of me- This has been a hard one for me because I have always wanted to be liked. Which leads to…
  
• Sometimes people will just decide not to like you and that is fine.
  
• Fear will keep you in situations you don’t want to be in.
  
• Potato skins will clog up a garbage disposal.
  

My favorite picture that I took in 2009 was

Didn’t really take any pictures this year that were all that great.


Ugliest picture of me in 2009


Was deleted on the spot.


I am looking forward to:

• Buying a new home
  
• Getting out of debt with the exception of Cars and home

My Hopes (Resolutions) for 2010

• Eat healthier
  
• More home cooked meals
  
• Have healthier and happier relationships

In 1 word (or a couple words) 2009 was: Educational

In 1 word (or a couple words) 2010 will be: challenging

Roll over minutes

Okay so it has what been many many months since I wrote last. I don't even remember when Duke was that small. Now he is big and overly active.

So much has been going on, I don't even know where to start. I know I need to keep this updated a little more. But it has been proven time and again that I am not very consistent at this blogging thing. Just always seem to run out of time.

There are some days when it would be nice to have extra minutes in the day. Then there are those days when you can't wait for them to get over, they just kind of drag on and on and on. Every once in awhile that is nice, but not to often. Or it's just been a plain out bad day and you just want to cut it short and go to bed. This is why I wish we could have roll over minutes.

Wouldn't it be nice to take a day that you just want to end and end it? Go into the next day that doesn't seem long enough and add to it by rolling your minutes over. I mean Sprint has the right idea. If you don't use them roll them over. Wed for example was so slow at work. I wanted to be home, but then Brandon and I weren't exactly agreeing on things so home wasn't all that much better than work. It was my niece's birthday. She would have been six. There were so many different reasons that it would have been best to call it quits. Then those extra minutes I can put into Saturday or something and enjoy my day. Or one of those days where I'm at work till 6:30 and have a ton more to do at home, but never have the time.

K so I may be stretching things a bit far, but come on I am sure I'm not the only one to think this would be a good idea.

New Addition

Brandon and I went to get a Jamba Juice today. In front of Artic Circle there in Draper there was a guy selling puppies. I told Brandon to stop I just wanted to see. He wouldn't because he wanted to go visit his sister. He told me to go back in the other car. So I figured I would just come upstairs and stay in for the night. But as we got home I kept thinking about the little glimpse of the puppy I saw and wanted to see more.

So I drove back to see the puppy and he was absolutely adorable. The guy told me he was a Bugg. I guess that is a Boston Terrier and Pugg mix. His face is all smushed and he grunts like a pig. I couldn't just walk away. So I called Brandon to see what he thought about getting another dog. Brandon thought it was a good idea it would give Daisy a companion. So we bought the dog.

Afterward I was pretty stressed thinking ok what did we get ourselves into. A new dog to potty train. When we got him home Daisy was excited at first. The new puppy is a little to rambunctious right now and like to chew and bite at everything Daisy included. Now she is timid of him. Hopefully they start to get along soon. And hopefully we didn't just make a mistake. Although he is really really cute!

Duke

Daisy & Duke

Graduation

Daisy graduated her intermediate class today. In two weeks she goes into the advanced class. She has gotten so good at minding. Well most the time anyway. Brandon and I think that it is so much nicer having a trained dog. Sometimes she has her moments where she wont listen to ya. But most the time you don't have to worry about it. I would definitely recommend for anyone that has a dog to take it to Petsmart training. I don't know how the other trainers work but Robyn is awesome. She is really great with the dogs and Daisy has a blast. It is defiantly worth it to have a trained dog.

Ignore the graduation cap on me. Brandon wouldn't do it this time since he did the last time.

This class was so much better than the last intermediate we had. The other dogs were friendlier as were their owners.

Dogs: (left to right) Sadie, Daisy, Hallie

Don't know the the owners names....

Loss

I believe I have delt with my fare share of loss. You would think I would have become used to it by now. But loss is a hard thing to get over. Especially the loss of children. Those that are to young to be taken away from us. Those that you figure have yet to truly live. Those that in such a short time become to mean so much to you.

I had first hand experience of loosing a child. Not my own but my niece. That was extremly hard. Then not long after my niece passed away my cousins little boy died from a brain tumor. I have always wondered why some live and some don't. My other cousin had a tumor when he was 11. Now he is 18 and just graduated High School in California.

Brandon's cousin has also lost two children. I could not imagine having to go through the death of a child twice. It seems so unfair.

Recently.....

My cousin Lavon and her husband Sean got married not to long ago. Right after they got married she became pregnant. I was happy for her. At that time I had heard of so many of my cousins pregnant with children. It was kind of bittersweet for me. (I may not have the details correct.) She was due this month sometime I am not sure of the exact date. She went into the hospital May 16, 2009. She was upset because she could no longer feel her baby move. The hospital did an ultrasound and did not hear a heartbeat. They immediately induced her into labor and Launa Mae Allred was born May 17, 2009 2:50 AM. She was not breathing. The text I got said she was born perfect.

Brandon had been talking to my mom and he told me what had happened. I was upset for my cousin. We have lost so many loved ones in our family 3 of which have been children. My mom later sent me a text with a picture of the baby and she looked perfectly healthy. I didn't understand, the text had confused me. She was born just over 6lbs. She looked alive to me. I called my mom all confused and said wait a minute is she alive or not? I don't get it. She said no and I was heartbroken, for my cousin for myself for anyone that has dealt with loosing someone way to early. It is hard to lose any loved one, but those that are taken away from you way to soon, that makes it so much harder to deal with. I am trying to understand the reasons, but with each loss it is getting harder.

I wish my cousin all the love and understanding she can get from this tragedy. And want her to know that I love her and I am always here. I love you Vonnie.

Launa Mae Allred

May 17, 2009 - May 17, 2009

Cameron Mckay Birch

September 8, 2000 - February 12, 2006

Alexis Marie Parry

January 4, 2004 - September 23, 2005

E-Bay

Friday I heard an add on the radio that e-bay will be having a career fair on Monday. I thought, "OK I can go to it or just apply online." I have been looking into starting at e-bay for awhile now. They have good insurance that starts right away and my current job sucks!

So Monday after work I remembered about the career fair and thought okay do I have time to get ready to go. I didn't shower that morning, my hair was in a pony tail, glasses, no makeup and wearing so so clothing because there is absolutely no point in dressing up at my current job. So I am trying to decide if I have the time to get ready and head over there being as it was after 5 PM and they career fair was only until 6. I decided to go for it. I did a half shower without washing my hair which then became staticky. I curled it and hair sprayed the heck out of it so that it would be somewhat tame. Put on a skirt half way shaved my legs (up to my calf's). I know this is gross but I hadn't shaved because of the pain in my back and how hard it is to move my left one. I figure as long as I am not wearing shorts or a swimsuit then I can go a week or so. Anyway back to he story. I was finally walking out the door at 35 after. I was quite impressed with myself.

When I got to e-bay they had a ton of people around and were doing initial interviews to see if you had the qualifications and flexibility to work for them. I passed that round so after the the fourth I go back and do a skills test. If I pass that then I will go in for another interview.

I am actually pretty scared about thinking of starting a new job. Even though my job isn't a great one I still have some kind of security with them. I have been there 2 years. I know they could probably fire me at any moment. I just don't see that happening, but who knows. I just am scared to quit something that is semi secure and go for something that is not. Especially with today's job market.

Oh well I still don't know yet what will happen. I guess if they offer me the job Brandon and I have some serious talking to do.